*Stargazer* Vacation

So I haven’t posted anything in a while just because I had been busy getting stuff ready to go back and visit family. I was going to try to post something before I left and then while I was on vacation back home, but I got too busy and just didn’t end up doing it. I am back now though from visiting the good ol Illinois. Of course the first two days we are there it’s under heat advisory because the humidity is just horrible. It was so bad, and sleeping at night was even worse. We even went to Six Flags on Friday, and it was fun, and it wasn’t as bad as the day before, but it was still horrible. Sweating the whole time, and just sticky, it was so nice to take a shower. Six flags Great America was fun though for the most part before getting into an argument with my partner and siblings. It’s always great visiting family, and I love visiting my mom, dad, step parents, and grandma because they are adults and act like adults. My siblings on the other hand can be very dramatic and can cause problems for no reason. Besides that normally we get along just fine, and we have always been super close. Obviously we are each growing up and kind of going our own ways. I moved away though, and that kind of made them mad. What made them more mad is that they feel the guy I am with now forced me to move away with him. Which isn’t true even at all, but I can see where they are coming from. I never really ever discussed moving to the state I am in now, and to them it was super random. To my whole family it was super random, and of course it happened while I am with my boyfriend, so in their minds they see me as being dragged away. When in reality, him and I discussed it just fine, made plans and had everything set out for ourselves that we didn’t view it as a problem. This place is also not particularly my most favorite place to live, and I don’t plan on living here forever, so that probably doesn’t help either since I am not head over heels in love with this new state I live in. The thing that angers me the most though, is I have been with my boyfriend for three years now, and still going, and we’ve actually made it quite far and are doing quite well for ourselves, yet my siblings still seem to thing these awful things. Their boyfriends are perfect in their minds, and they both accept each others boyfriends, but when it comes to mine there always seem to be something wrong. It’s really irritating because I can try to explain to them my situation and how it’s unfair and that I obviously wasn’t forced to move anywhere. I won’t let anyone force me anywhere, or even to be with them if I didn’t want to be. That should be known by my past, especially by them, that I won’t stick with someone who makes me unhappy. I tried explaining and they just wouldn’t understand and of course at that time I was in an argument with my boyfriend as well so I had both sides gaining up on me it felt like. I told them though if this continues I will refuse to visit, because it’s unnecessary for them to continue to dislike someone who has done nothing wrong to them in the first place. They should be happy for me and accepting just like I am of their men, and their situation, if they can’t be then I guess they don’t want me in their life either. He’s not going anywhere anytime soon, at least I hope not, and he’s made it this far, so they need to start accepting him, or accepting the idea of me no longer in the picture.

Besides that situation though it was a very nice, and much-needed trip. I felt like I didn’t spend as much time on my mom’s side, but that might have been partly because she hurt her back and couldn’t do much. It also could have been that I had my step sisters wedding to go to that took up a whole day that should have been designated to my mom’s side as well. Oh well, each year I try to plan better than the last and I feel like it never works out. I guess I just have to keep trying. Seeing my father was awesome also, we saw lots of movies, and went out and played something called Top Golf. It was actually quite fun and I would totally do it again, even though I suck at golf. My step sisters wedding was beautiful and she was beautiful and I am extremely happy for her. They are lucky and are going on their honeymoon in New Zealand, oh man, someday I can’t wait to visit there. I plan to for sure, since my life dedication is going to be to traveling. There is so much to see and explore that I just am not ready to stay complacent. So now I am back to the grove of work, and unfortunately school is quickly approaching. I am not ready to go back to University, and I am not ready to work full-time and do school work constantly. Life goes away for another 4 months of just straight stress. Luckily though I have one more trip I am going to in about a month, and that is to Tokyo! Japan is a place I have always wanted to travel to, and I am finally actually making it happen. I am super excited and nervous at the same time. Mainly because of the language barrier, but that also makes it the reason it is so exciting. Getting lost sometimes can turn out to be an even greater adventure, other times it could just be a disaster. I am going to look at the positive side and just see it as an adventure no matter what, ha ha. I am attempting to learn the language though, and I am going to make sure I have some necessary phrases with me, and I am going to try to memorize and learn the hiragana and katakana. I don’t think I’ll have enough time for kanji, maybe a couple, but definitely not many. Either way, I am excited, and I am planning that now and getting my schooling in order as well. Summer has gone by way too quickly like I knew it would, just like this year has honestly, but it’s all an adventure.

So I will continue to try to be back to my normal writing and blogging, and thinking up stories. I may have a lot to do, but I also have a lot to talk about. We also got behind on our videos on You Tube so we have to do that also. We have the videos just need to edit and post them all up. Phew so much to do and there is so little time it feels like, but this honestly, just writing, helps keep me sane. So now I just need to continue focusing on writing and creating stories again. I have actually had some dreams and ideas of stories I have wanted to start, but I forget to write them down or even start writing right then to at least get it started. I feel like I have had writers block of creativity for 10 years now, and I guess I am having troubling coming up with things. If anyone has suggestions or ideas of how to get back started after not writing for a pretty long time, I would be super appreciative of any help! Otherwise I will just keep continuing to write, read, listen to music, draw, and try to come up with something. I am sure something will come out eventually, but until then it’s the small steps that count!

 

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